Ground Zero: Where do we go from here?

These last couple of years have been the most trying for me. It seems that none of the businesses i’ve started in the last couple of years are doing well. And to top it off, there were so many other challenges that went with it. I’m surprised that i came out of this as calm as i did and didn’t even stress out too much.  I am now at a point where i need to push myself more than ever to achieve the next level of success. The problem is that i dont know which way to go. I have so many options that i am literally confused on which ship to jump onto. For the 1st time in my life, i am actually kinda lost in terms of the direction i want to take. But i do know that i need to start moving.

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Acknowledge & Appreciate

What the fuck happened to me? I used to be this very secure confident guy who didnt give a shit if my girl posts about me or not. To begin with, why should it matter anyway, right? As long as she loves you dearly and shows you affection, why should it be a big deal if she announces it on social media or not.

I’m writing this entry to maybe just release my thoughts since i dont really know who i can or should talk to about this since my girl usually either shuts down or gets uncontrollably angry when we disagree on anything, and instead of trying to fix it. She will mock me, patronize me, and even rub her contempt in my face. Well, the only silver lining is that after she calms down, she says sorry, but the sad part is that it keeps happening.

So, whats the big deal about social media? Well, when you see her post all about her friends and even tag them on her social media, then she post a hint of you or your face hidden from everyone, that hurts. When we go out and do something fun and unique, she is so quiet about it. its like she doesnt want anyone to know she was out with me. Oh yeah, she did show my face in the dark for literally 0.3 seconds on her IG stories. When it was my birthday, not a single peep from her about me on her social media. When i tagged her to thank her for my birthday surprise, she didnt approve it on her timeline, and yet on that same day, she posts about her friendship with her male friend. Everytime i talk to her about it, she makes it seem like i’m being paranoid or i am making an issue out of nothing.

So its her birthday today, and i bought her a cake and sang her her birthday song. Then she asked me to take pictures of her, and while she was taking photos, she kept moving the cake so that the writing on the cake was not visible. then she lifted it above her head. I called her out, and  told her that i feel like she is trying to hide my message for her on the cake. She immediately got furious and said that i was making an issue, and that she was doing it because she doesnt like how she looked. If she didnt like how she looked, then why put it above her head with her face visible. Then that was it, she went into a fit. i tried to explain that i feel like this because even at her birthday charity, she didnt make a single acknowledgement about me during her party, yet she even takes pics of her friends and tags them, but nothing about me. And she is mad because i still feel like she is hiding me. I dont even get an acknowledgement. That i even exist yet when she is out with her friends, she makes a gazillion posts about them.

Am i wrong in feeling like this? feeling like she is hiding me? i just want to be acknowledged and appreciated. I just feel like she is making an effort to NOT post about me. And when she does post about me, it feels forced.

I dont want to be in a relationship where my love and partner in life seems to hide me on her social media. I dont really care if she posts or not, what bugs me is when she intentionally hides me from her social media. I’m at a loss. i tried talking to her about it, but everytime we talk, it turns into an argument. i try to be calm but she brushes me off, says she doesnt want to talk, walks away, becomes very rude and contemptuous. Basically, nothing gets talked about or resolved. After a few hours, she just says sorry but after the sorry, she doesnt do anything else after that. its like an empty apology.

I dont want to post on my facebook or instagram so this is my only outlet. i feel like if i post it on my blog, i send it out to the universe and release myself from the sadness and loneliness i feel.


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Heart Broken

Today was the day the my heart was broken to pieces. The writings were on the wall yet i chose to ignore them.  I’m hurting so much yet i dont know where to turn or who to talk to.

Here’s my dilemma….

Someone told me a story about a couple.  My friend noticed that this girl would post tons of photos of her BF with her in all her social media.  Yet, the guy seems to only post photos of himself or himself with celebrities, but seldom does he post pics of his girl.  She said that this is a sign that the guy doesnt really love the girl, but the girl is totally in love with him.

I found that perception interesting…. and then i realize that it was also my situation.  Hmmmm…. my girl would post alot of photos of herself and of other people.  Yet when it comes to photos of me.  Its very seldom.  Almost rare.  You could actually count it with both hands.  actually for the entire 2016, you could count it in one hand.  its 6 posts for the entire year.  Thats 6 out of hundreds of posts on instagram.  Even if we did so many things together.  Korea, Bohol, Ilo ilo, New Years, Christmas, birthdays. So many milestones for us.  She even asks me to take photos of us together.  And out of the 6 posts, not a single one says “i love you”.  She has as much or more posts about our pets than me.  what the heck?  Call me sensitive, but its almost like she is hiding me or is not proud of me.  Then i checked my instagram…. i made only 39 posts for the entire year, and out of 39 posts 13 was about my girlfriend.  1/3 of my posts on instagram was about my girlfriend. hmmmm…..

So, why am i getting emo today at almost 3am.  Well, it started last Sunday when my GF decided to hang out with her model friends after their work.  I agreed and let her be.  Although i was a bit apprehensive since these are the same girls that she kept secrets with against me.  These are the same girls that she did stupid stuff with that i cannot mention on my blog.  These are the girls that she belittled me in front of them.  These are the same girls that are a bad influence on her.  But i let her be.  The problem is that instead of assuring me that she is ok and not doing any bullshit, she disappears for over 3 hours without a text or call to let me know she is ok.  She said she will just go for dinner and its past 10pm.  i got worried.  She eventually calls me when she was already alone.  although she didnt do anything stupid, i couldnt help but remember all the bullshit she did in the past year.  So, when she got home, i told her how i felt and that i became suspicious and worried at the same time because i didnt know what happened.  Then she mentioned that they were inviting to go to Baguio but since i felt bad, she decided not to go.  So, everything was fine.

Then today, she told me she was going to baguio with her friends.  I told her how i felt about it.  i calmly expressed my feelings and my trauma because of what happened in the past.  Instead of understanding me, she walks away.  Then when i tried to talk to her about it, she turns her back on me.  I asked her why she is mad.  I am telling her how i feel about her going to baguio with those friends that i do not particularly trust.  I told her that if i didnt want her to go i would say so immediately.  Then she retorted, “i know that you dont want me to go, but i will still go with my friends, even if you dont want me to.”  This crushed me to pieces.  I was devastated.  Imagine, i told her that i am not yet comfortable with her hanging out with those friends specially out of town, and instead of reassuring me, she insists that she will go and there is nothing i can do about it.

Damn!!!!! So, what should i do now? She basically chose her friends over me.  What the fuck?  She claims to love me forever and yet, when i express my sadness about her hanging out with those particular friends, she tells me she will still go with them even if she knows it will hurt me.

I am now at a loss.  I dont know if i am just fooling myself.  I dont know if she really loves me or am i just convenient.  I made the choice to love this woman with all of my heart. I made the choice to trust her, as difficult as it is after all the lies and deceit.  I made a choice to stay amidst all the emotional tantrums and outbursts.  And now this….

I guess she made her choice already.  Her friends are more important than me.  Why am i still sticking around?  Para na akong tanga.  If you love someone, and they dont really love you back as much, do you stay?  or do you go?

I need some divine interveniton to lead me to the right decision

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Who dunnit? The Mastermind Behind the Espinosa Slay.

I am surprised that alot of people are either silent about this, or they do not see whats really going on with our country.  Am i the only one that sees this angle?

Lets look at the facts:

  1. Espinosa is killed by members of the CIDG that say they were there to issue a search warrant at 4am with 24 policemen to serve the warrant.
  2. The hard drive of the CCTV cameras were taken by same CIDG police that morning that Espinosa was shot.
  3. CIDG Superintendent Marcos called SOCO to inspect the scene of the crime at 3:49am and they entered the jail at 4:30am, subsequently killing Espinosa.
  4. There are conflicting pictures of the crime scene.  One pic shows Espinosa dead with a gun, and another pic shows Espinosa dead without a gun.


So its obvious that this was a rubout.  Its also obvious that this was ordered by someone. Now the question is, Who did it?  Continue reading

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The So-Called Foreign Policy of D30

So i recently posted about DU30’s mind-boggling response to China’s demand that Philippines and the USA should stop the Balikatan Games by actually declaring that he will stop it because he doesnt want to offend China.  And my friends, who i dearly love because i know that we can have a logical debate and still be friends afterwards responded with… the following:

“So you prefer that he acts all belligerent against China and we go to war with them most likely on Philippine seas and eventually Philippine territory even if we don’t have the military might? Please . Let’s be realistic. Diplomacy is the way to go.”

I opted to post this as a blog cuz it is looooong for a facebook reply.  This is my response and please indulge me.  hehehe….

No, i dont prefer that DU30 acts “belligerent” against China or any other country for that matter; and No, i would prefer not to go to war with them, or anyone else for that matter either.  I never said he should act “belligerent”.  Just because i said i want him to defend my country, it means i want him to be “belligerent”.  I think it is unfair that you immediately assumed and replied that i want “belligerence” because i want our leader to defend our rights and sovereignty.  It is NOT belligerence to defend our sovereignty and rights.  Other countries have stood up to China better than we have. Taiwan, Indonesia, Vietnam, Japan, South Korea, and they are not “belligerent”.  Maybe you should consider pointing that description towards the one that is really being “belligerent”… China.

Btw, doing a balikatan exercise is not “belligerent”.  And standing up to China is not belligerent, which DU30 has not done enough off.

So, what do i want DU30 to do.

Yes Diplomacy is the way to go.  I want him to be diplomatic, which he is obviously NOT.  Its funny how he is NOT diplomatic with all other countries and yet, he extends utmost courtesy and would bend backwards to the fullest for China and Russia.  Dont you find that odd? The Philippines has always been diplomatic with all nations, including China.  Honestly, Diplomacy without a firm position reeks of weakness.  Yes. you agree that DU30 should be diplomatic with China, then you should also demand that he be diplomatic with everyone else.

I want him to assert Philippine Sovereignty.  Not give in to the whims of a bully like China or any other nation.  The fact is that the Balikatan games have been on-going since 1991.  So, now China doesn’t like it, and we give in and stop doing it?  Really, Lara?  The Balikatan exercises helps us improve our military training, knowledge, strategy.  This helps us to protect ourselves.  And you want us to stop, because a bully said so?

Let me try to understand your point. You agree with DU30 to stop an annual exercise that we have been doing with the USA since 1991 so that we can appease China?  China is the one that is “belligerent” and has militarised bases within 200 miles off the Philippine shores.  That is technically an invasion of Philippine Territories.  They even used soil from the Philippines to do this.  They disregarded the Hague ruling.  They also told us to throw away this ruling if we want to have negotiations with them.  Do you want DU30 to do this as well to “appease” China?

Here’s another way of looking at it… if your “belligerent” neighbor suddenly sets up a house on your backyard, then tells you that he owns it.  Then you complain to the Barangay, they agree that it is yours. Then you have a yearly exercise you do “at your home” with your Big Brother that is a tradition for decades and the neighbor who is still in your backyard tells you to stop doing it.  You will stop? Oh, because you dont want to act “belligerent”? is it even belligerent to begin with?   Hmmmmm…  lets break this down even further to a personal level.  if a bully walks up to you and sits on your desk at school. then takes your stuff and says its his.  And he is way bigger than you. Then he sees you working out at the school gym and tell you to stop cuz it antagonizes him.  Would you stop?  and where does it end?

And there is a part 2 to this….



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Philippines has one of the highest income taxes in Asia at 32%.  it is staggering compared to our asian neighbors.  Even by world standards, our income tax is one of the highest.  Yet the irony is that even with one of the highest income taxes, Philippines is one of the most under developed countries in terms of infrastructure due to a high level of corruption.

There are sectors, including the BIR, that do not favor lowering income taxes, but i think that their fear is unfounded.  I strongly believe that lowering our income tax will be extremely beneficial to our country for the following reasons:


  • Increased consumer spending – From the savings that taxpayers enjoy, the country will see an uptick in the consumer spending.  An increase in consumer spending will improve the economy.  Any possible loss in income tax revenue will be replaced by an increase in the VAT collections from sales.
  • Higher collection rate – I predict a strange phenomenon will happen. Lets face it, there is a good portion of taxpayers that under declare their income.  But with the lower tax rate, more taxpayers will actually pay the right amount of tax and not under declare their income tax.


  • Corruption will be curbed in the BIR – BIR is long known to be one of the most corrupt agencies in the Philippines.  And so many times, a BIR personnel is happy to offer to falsify documents so that the taxpayer ends up paying less than what was expected.  In return, the BIR personnel will ask for a bribe for their services.  In lowering the income tax rate, people will be less willing to agree to bribes and be more willing to pay the right taxes.

At the end of the day, lowering income tax rates will be a good thing for the taxpayers and for the country.


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Helps Others and You Help Yourself

Through my actions, I want people to feel God’s unconditional love.

This weekend, I had the opportunity to visit and play with the kids from GK Escopa. I contacted Kring, the awesome founder of Tulong sa Kapwa Kapatid. She set me up to help out with the values formation activity with the kids.

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